All healthy relationships have one thing in common – a strong foundation. Without this, your relationship will not be able to stand the test of time. One aspect of foundation building centers around keeping every part solid. If you don’t, any weak spot can threaten the stability of the whole kit and caboodle, and will lead to eventual collapse of what you thought was a strong relationship.
So how does this relate to me? Well, people acknowledge the wisdom of building a strong foundation when they construct their new house, because they want it to last and be something they can be proud of. Things are a bit different when dealing with people though, as individuals bring so much into their relationships from their past experience. The way they have been raised, any past hurts and experiences, and their own needs, all have a part to play. To allow for this, we will focus on five key areas to simplify things, while giving couples areas to grow throughout the life of the relationship.
Respect
This is most important. Having mutual respect starts the process. It puts in place a barrier around the couple by saying they value the other person. Be wary of focusing too much on what you personally want from the relationship though - you must allow for what the other person wants too. Hopefully both of you are not too self-centred so this should come naturally. Thinking back to when you were young, you received training to get along with others, share and give others a chance to put forward their beliefs and feelings. You must do this now, so respect needs to exist first, and this will clear some space for the other pillars.
Trust
When trust is present, you get a sense of safety where you take comfort from the protection of the other person. As a couple, you can rely on the other to look out for you, and look after you. Is it possible to develop a healthy relationship if this trust is not present? Not very likely at all. And if you are unable to trust one another, then doubt is already there in the relationship. This is going to weaken the structure of your relationship, making it extremely difficult to make any progress.
Intimacy
This pillar of relationships comes in many shades. Most couples think intimacy and immediately think of the bedroom. This is only a small part of how true intimacy is present in any relationship. If you look at couples who have been together for a long period, they share the most intimate things, and not necessarily with physical contact but through their innermost thoughts. As we can see from those lucky enough to be with their partner for a long time, the best way to be so close stems from being in a healthy, trusting, respecting relationship.
Communication
But how do you know just what your partner is thinking? Every relationship, whether romantic or not, must have open communication to be successful. Couples who learn to speak openly from their heart, accept any constructive criticism offered, and seek to build up one another, discover communication becomes easier. This aspect always takes work, but is the path to a happy, stable relationship.
Love
Love is the one thing upon which several of the other pillars can be supported. However, it will be even stronger when in a respectful, intimate, trusting and communicative environment. Love acts as the binding material drawing in and building up the other aspects of a healthy relationship.
You may find each of these qualities may exist alone in a relationship. You may find situations occur where you need to rely on one more than the others. But regardless of the stage of the relationship, all five pillars must be present if you wish to spend your lifetime with your partner. Maintain the key pillars of respect, trust, intimacy, communication and love and your relationship will be super strong, enough to get you through any crisis.
So how does this relate to me? Well, people acknowledge the wisdom of building a strong foundation when they construct their new house, because they want it to last and be something they can be proud of. Things are a bit different when dealing with people though, as individuals bring so much into their relationships from their past experience. The way they have been raised, any past hurts and experiences, and their own needs, all have a part to play. To allow for this, we will focus on five key areas to simplify things, while giving couples areas to grow throughout the life of the relationship.
Respect
This is most important. Having mutual respect starts the process. It puts in place a barrier around the couple by saying they value the other person. Be wary of focusing too much on what you personally want from the relationship though - you must allow for what the other person wants too. Hopefully both of you are not too self-centred so this should come naturally. Thinking back to when you were young, you received training to get along with others, share and give others a chance to put forward their beliefs and feelings. You must do this now, so respect needs to exist first, and this will clear some space for the other pillars.
Trust
When trust is present, you get a sense of safety where you take comfort from the protection of the other person. As a couple, you can rely on the other to look out for you, and look after you. Is it possible to develop a healthy relationship if this trust is not present? Not very likely at all. And if you are unable to trust one another, then doubt is already there in the relationship. This is going to weaken the structure of your relationship, making it extremely difficult to make any progress.
Intimacy
This pillar of relationships comes in many shades. Most couples think intimacy and immediately think of the bedroom. This is only a small part of how true intimacy is present in any relationship. If you look at couples who have been together for a long period, they share the most intimate things, and not necessarily with physical contact but through their innermost thoughts. As we can see from those lucky enough to be with their partner for a long time, the best way to be so close stems from being in a healthy, trusting, respecting relationship.
Communication
But how do you know just what your partner is thinking? Every relationship, whether romantic or not, must have open communication to be successful. Couples who learn to speak openly from their heart, accept any constructive criticism offered, and seek to build up one another, discover communication becomes easier. This aspect always takes work, but is the path to a happy, stable relationship.
Love
Love is the one thing upon which several of the other pillars can be supported. However, it will be even stronger when in a respectful, intimate, trusting and communicative environment. Love acts as the binding material drawing in and building up the other aspects of a healthy relationship.
You may find each of these qualities may exist alone in a relationship. You may find situations occur where you need to rely on one more than the others. But regardless of the stage of the relationship, all five pillars must be present if you wish to spend your lifetime with your partner. Maintain the key pillars of respect, trust, intimacy, communication and love and your relationship will be super strong, enough to get you through any crisis.